Why Don’t Guys Approach Me – 7 Things You’re Doing To Drive Men Away

dating advice for women

Millions of women are feeling left in the dust as men are pummelled with distractions, and don’t even know what they want.

Women are plagued with the question: “Why don’t guys approach me?” Or, “Why don’t guys like me?”

The good news is that this doesn’t mean that men find you unattractive.

But it does mean that you are doing something wrong, or sending some signal to men saying don’t approach me. You may not even realise that you’re doing it.

So we’re going to cover the most common mistakes women make that drive men away, how to fix them and get men to fall for you.

Why Don’t Guys Approach Me

why don't guys approach me

Men are more distracted these days than ever before. They have this little tool in their pocket that gives them access to everything ever posted in the world.

They are bombarded with online dating, instagram models, unlimited free porn, and this has made the need to approach women almost extinct.

And the less they have to approach, the more nervous and scared they become when they do see a woman they want to approach. So woman are now having to take a more proactive role in getting a man to ask you out or approach you.

Then if you couple that with the things you are probably doing wrong that say you’re unapproachable, well you can see how bad this can be.

So keep reading to find out what you’re doing wrong, and how to fix it.

1. How You’re Intimidating Men

Remember, men are terrified of approaching women. More now than ever before due to online dating. There they can message dozens of woman without ever risking their ego by being rejected.

So if you take a man who is already nervous, and you add any bit of intimidating factors, well he is going to run away.

So what the most common ways you’re unknowingly intimidating him?

Lots of Friends

If you’re almost always in a large group of friends, men will almost never approach you. Think about it.

Not only do they have to worry about making a fool of himself in front of you, but your entire group. If he’s not sure he can approach a woman by herself and impress her, how is he going to impress a whole group of strangers?

So if you see a man who you want to approach you, and you’re in a group, make sure to take some opportunities to step away and send some signals to him letting him know he can approach you.

Too Hot

why don't men like me

Every woman loves to dress up and look and feel sexy. But the sexier and more provocative you dress, the more nervous you’re going to make a man.

He’s going to start feeling you are either out of your league, or you’re someone who is just looking to hook up or drag a man along for free drinks.

Also something to consider for the men who do approach you.

Now I’m not saying you can never dress sexy, but when choosing an outfit, take a moment to think if it will be intimidating to men who may want to approach you.

You may also want to consider learning how to seduce men with body language, and not feel you have to rely solely on outfits.

2. How Your Appearance Is Driving Men Away

Just as you may appear too attractive for men to approach you. It’s also possible that you appearance or image may be turning men off. So when asking why. Don’t men approach me, think back to the moments and think of the image you were projecting.

Super Drunk Girl

why don't men approach me

We all love having a good time out with friends, but it is important to know your limit when consuming alcohol. Then stick to it.

If you’re the woman who’s always getting super drunk, and have to have your friends take care of you. Well no man is going to want to approach you, well not the men you want anyway.

So know your limit and stick to it, and just drink enough to have a good time.

Looking Sloppy

You should always take pride in your appearance and how you carry yourself. You don’t always have to look your best and go all out for every little trip you take out.

But you should always try to look nice. So try to avoid looking like you’re on your way to the local Walmart.

You also want to look confident at least. You don’t want to be looking at the ground, shoulders hunched over. You want to be standing tall and proud.

Check out my free guide on how to be confident around guys.

Looking Angry

Millions of people are plagued by resting bitch face, and will almost certainly scare away any man who may want to approach you.

So if you know you suffer from RIB, try to make a concentrated ever to change the natural frown to a slight smile.

Click here for more ways to cure RIB from Vanessa Van Edwards author of the book Captivate: Science of Succeeding with People.

3. You Appear Taken

why don't guys like me

It’s a common rule among men, that you don’t approach a woman when she’s taken. Even if you’re not, if you appear to be, men will not approach you.

It’s too much drama, and creates the possibility of conflict. Also almost guarantees rejection. Remember, men are constantly looking to protect their egos.

A Guy In Any Capacity

If you’re with a guy in any capacity while out, it will appear that he is your boyfriend or date. Doesn’t matter if he’s not.

So be wary of this when you’re out and you see someone you’re interested in, you may have to take some steps to show him you’re interested.

Rings

Most men don’t really know what rings mean and which fingers mean what. All they see is a ring, and automatically block you out as approachable.

I know rings are valuable fashion accessories, and a lot even have sentimental value. So if you choose to wear rings, just know some men won’t approach you. So you may have to learn how to approach guys you like.

4. How You’re Telling Men Not Too

We all have lives to live and things to do. But sometimes we get caught up, and in the process we are telling men not to approach. So when you’re asking why don’t guys approach me, think if you are telling men not to.

Busy

Most men are respectful of your time, and if you appear to be caught up in a task, they’re not going to disturb you. So if you’re busy, but see a man you’re interested in, take a step back, and send some signs that you’re approachable.

Tough To Catch

If you’re running around like you’re on a mission or short of time, men will realise this. They won’t want to cut into your time, and also they realise that if you’re that busy approaching you won’t be beneficial at all because you’ll have to leave.

So try to slow your pace and look more approachable.

Room Positioning

People’s attention naturally gravitates towards the center of the room. So if you’re sitting in the corner of the room, you’re not catching anyone’s attention.

So make sure you’re moving around, staying out of the corners, and try to make your way to the center. Doesn’t matter if it’s the center of the room, or the center of your group of friends. There attention will naturally gravitate towards you.

Constantly On Your Phone

why don't boys like me

We have become almost addicted to our phones, and even when we’re out you can see we are still constantly on our phones.

This tells men that you don’t want to be disturbed. Not only that, but also tells men that you can’t focus in on the moment, and will always be distracted.

So when you’re out, try to put the phone away and look open to being approached.

Reading

I love a good book. I also love reading in the local coffee shop, park, or the beach.

But most men will not want to disturb you because this is a common way to unwind and relieve stress.

So if you are out reading a book, be wary that you are telling men not to approach you. So take some breaks if you want to appear more approachable.

5. Why Don’t Guys Like Me

As you’ve struggled with the question why don’t men approach me, another issue may have been coming to mind.

Even the encounters you do have men, may have just been friendly and pleasant and nothing else. This can also leave you with the question why don’t guys like me.

Just as you were doing things that tell men not approach you, you may also be doing things that kill attraction.

You also have to know what to do and what to say to attract men for when they do approach you.

Why Don’t Boys Like Me Reason #1 – You Come On Too Strong

We’ve all had the moment where we feel like we’ve fallen in love after one date or encounter. It’s natural to then want to spend as much time as possible with this person.

But if you come on too strong, and too needy and desperate you’re going to drive the man away.

So when you do meet a guy you like, take a breath, step back, and hold off on communicating how much you like him if you want to make him your boyfriend.

Why Don’t Men Like Me Reason #2 – You Focus on Looks Over Personality

You may feel that you are getting attention from men, but nothing ever comes of it. Looks are important to an extent, but personality is more important.

So if you don’t know how to have a conversation or have some depth to your personality, you will drive men away.

To counter this, start to focus on your goals and ambitions. Take up new hobbies, and get new experiences. You don’t want to just be the local gossip column, you want to make men desire you for more than just your looks.

Why Don’t Guys Like Me Reason #3 – Having Sex Prematurely

seductive words to say to a man

Theres no hard fast rule for how long you have to wait for sex, but you’ll know when the moment is right.

If you’re having sex before that moment, you risk driving the guy away. A lot of woman feel that the man is becoming distant or losing interest, and they think having sex will pull the man back in.

More often than not, after the encounter the man will want nothing more after that point.

So make sure when you do do it, you wait until the moment is right where you both want it. And you’re not using sex as a way to draw the man back in.

We’ve covered a lot on why don’t guys approach me.

Here are the key takeaways:

  • Intimidation: Men are already nervous when approaching women, so pay attention to the factors that may add additional intimidation. Pay attention to your group size, and appearance, and make opportunities for him to approach you.
  • Unattractive Appearance: Make sure your image you’re projecting is that of someone he’ll want to approach. Don’t get too drunk, work on your RIB if necessary.
  • Appearing Taken: Guys are more likely to not approach you if you appear taken. So if you have a guy in your group, or wearing rings, you may have to approach him or signal him that you’re approachable.
  • Do Not Disturb: If you appear too busy or focused on what you’re doing, men will not want to approach you. So slow down your pace, and make sure you’re having an approachable vibe.